Local Pervert Able to Relive Japanese Porn Fantasies Thanks To SMRT Breakdown
A SMRT train breakdown across the North-South and East-West lines last night saw thousands of Singaporean commuters held up in stagnant trains for more than two hours.
As many Singaporeans took to social media to express their frustrations, one sleazy Singaporean saw the opportunity to relive pornographic fantasies in real time thanks to the breakdown.
“In a packed train where time stood still with the lights dimmed – it was like a scene right out of exactly what I was jerking to last week,” said the depraved man, flashing a grin that showed off his crooked yellow teeth.
58-year-old Lim Soon Teck told Durian Daily reporters that it was an once-in-a-lifetime experience considering SMRT’s track record of efficient standards.
“I would have settled for a simple train breakdown but for the power outage to kill the lights too? Wah piang eh,” the immoral degenerate continued.
The debased bastard went on to describe how he had “done it all”, from binocular voyeurism across his flat and up skirting in shopping malls to peeping in public toilets but last night’s experience topped it all.
“Lucky I take the train tonight. Thank you Desmond Kuek. Thank you,” the sexual deviant expressed with gratitude.
