Budget 2016 Forgets To Include Legal Fees In Lawsuits To Sue Future Dissidents
Striding into Parliament with an air of confidence this past Thursday, Finance Minister Heng Swee Keat has unveiled the long-awaited Budget 2016.
Promising to usher Singapore into continued economic progress, better home security, and increase in worker skills upgrades, the budget however failed to account for legal fees that will be spent on suing future political dissidents.
“Oh dear, we simply haven’t taken that into account the legal fees that must be spent to curtail future political dissidents in the 2016 Budget,” said the exasperated Finance Minister as he shuffled between papers in a last-ditch effort to stall for time.
As Mr Heng triumphantly announced the Adapt and Grow initiative designed to help workers adapt and grow their skills, it dawned upon him that it had slipped his mind to allocate part of the budget for legal fees that will be spent in elaborate and lengthy lawsuits to silence any radical opposition voices.
“This is an embarrassing mistake on our part,” Mr Heng said, pleading with any future Amos Yee’s, Roy Ngerng’s or Chee Soon Juan’s to put off their nonconformist viewpoints until after the budget has been properly reallocated.
“Please respect the limited boundaries of freedom of speech in Singapore until we have partitioned sufficient funds to bankrupt you in the Singapore courts.”
Finance Minister Heng added that the budget allocated to the construction of the Jurong Innovation District could be put off to a later date, if deemed absolutely necessary.
At press time, Amos Yee has allegedly resurfaced and uploaded a new video, resuming his scathing attacks on the late Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew.
