You Won't Believe What Clickbaits Actually Are!
Shit. That's what clickbaits are. Don't take it from me, take it from BuzzFeed, the professional clickbaiters.
The word 'buzz' comes from the sound that flies make, and also as a shortened form of buzzards, a type of scavenger. Feed simply means food, so BuzzFeed literally translates to 'scavenger food'. Also known as, 'shit'.
But don't take 'shit' lightly though, for they are a powerful force of peace in the world. Because clickbaits do not just take on the guise of 'OMG! 10 Things You Won't Believe Justin Bieber Shoved Up Our Asses this Week!'
Former Durian Daily reporter, Ikanot Seah was declared legally blind in both eyes from researching clickbait articles. However, he is positive of his experience.
“Now without my eyesight, I can stop reporting on the horrible things going on in the world. I believe once everyone has read enough clickbaits and have gone blind, the world will be at peace!” said the visually-impaired reporter.
And that seems to be the hidden goal of all clickbaits. Because '28 Life-Changing Things Anna Kendrick Tweeted In 2015' and 'These Beautiful Shark Facts and Pictures will Give You Ten Reasons to Love Them' are the same thing – they take a topic and make them seem important, no matter what the topic is.
“If I read articles like 'Global Food System Faces Multiple Threats from Climate Change', that makes use of statistics, reports and analyses, I will feel bad about the world, because I understand what's happening,” reader Donny Stu Pitt said.
“Then I read 'Meet The 15-Year-Old Hero Who Just Gave The U.N. Some Real Talk About The Future Of His Generation' and I feel much better, because I believe what he believes, and that makes me feel validated and important. Job done, the world is saved, even if I don't know what's going on. Also, I did not really read it because it was too lengthy.”
Clickbait is a play on the word, 'jailbait'. Like all clickbait articles, this is not particularly important to the point I'm trying to make, but we can all agree you had to know that.
Aden Ng is a hypocrite who called himself 'The AdeniNg' during Halloween to get more clicks. You can tell him he sucks candies @Aden_Ng on Twitter.
