Breaking News: Fat Kid Single-Handedly Destroying Swing At Playground
Toa Payoh – 19-year-old Jeremy Elijah Choo was reportedly laying complete waste and destruction to one of the oldest swings in the Toa Payoh estate.
Getting on the playground swing without hesitation and not giving a fuck if the decade-old swing could withstand his enormous weight, neighbourhood eyewitnesses to the demolition saw Choo heave his humongous buttocks up onto the old leather seat and kicked off the sandy ground without a care in the world.
Thoughts such as, “What if it gives way?” or “This could really ruin the swing for the other kids in the neighbourhood,” was reportedly not to have entered the 19-year-old’s thoughts.
Instead, the delinquent was heard to be softly humming the tune to popular pop hit “Wrecking Ball” by American pop star Miley Cyrus.
When asked if he spared any thought for the destruction of public property, the rebel merely stared at Durian Daily reporters before continuing to swing his tubby legs back and forth to build an increasing amount of momentum on the swing.
One passer-by, Jonathan Seow, said: “Swings are one of the last few remaining childhood joys for Singaporeans and assholes like him just have to ruin it.”
At press time, the vandal reportedly moved on to the see-saw, completely indifferent to the frantic protests of many passers-by.
