How To Look Like A Complete Tool In Singapore

Considered to be the most essential component to looking like a complete tool, the “Life’s Short Paddle Hard” T-shirt remains a popular wardrobe choice for local paddling enthusiasts.

Designed by Kanoe Sports, the T-shirt was designed to complement a tanned and toned physique that asserts physical dominance and pride in heaving an oar back and forth.

27-year-old dragon boater Gary Heng said: "Nothing motivates me more to row harder than a brightly printed T-shirt or singlet that constantly reminds me that there's nothing more to this short, desolate life than one repetitive motion."

“We don’t live forever. So better paddle hard while we are still alive. And even harder.”

Other less prominent but equally important apparel to looking like a “tool” include Oakley Radar sports sunglasses that can be conveniently worn on the top of the head in group pictures, Phiten accessories, bright-coloured wristbands and shorts that are one or two sizes too small.

A key element to polishing the “tool” persona has been found to be exhibiting rowdy behaviour in a gymnasium; slamming of the weights, not replacing them back on the rack and most importantly - not doing a single leg exercise.

"You’re not fit to call yourself a dragon boater if you touch the squat rack,” said the veteran, adding that dragon boating teams have been known to expel members who dared venture anywhere near a leg press or leg curl machine.

Set to release in 2016, paddlers have taken to wearing self-designed "Life's Short Stroke Hard" T-shirts to remind themselves “never to stop working it” even in their most private moments.

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