Santa Claus Wishes Singaporean Children Could Be Less Materialistic Come This Christmas
Referring to materialism as one of the most troubling problems of today, legendary philanthropic elf Santa Claus issued a public statement Monday wishing that Singaporean children would just be a little less materialistic in their gift requests come his year-end annual global gift delivery.
“If only there was something, anything at all, I could do to discourage this grotesque culture of material goods in children, I would,” said the feverishly passionate activist who has begun preparations to deliver some millions of exotic and brand new gifts to Singaporean children of all ages.
“I’ve been doing this for centuries all over the world and you can take my word for it when I say that Singaporean children remains to be one of the most greedy little buggers I’ve ever serviced,” the elf lamented, “I just wish to God they could take it easy on me by a notch or two, just for once,” said Claus with a heavy sigh, as he struggled to gift-wrap the latest Alienware X51 desktop computer for a one 13-year-old Eugene Chuah.
“While I would rather gift educational novels to guide children and educate themselves, society would rather I deliver to their doorsteps the latest in technological gadgetry and gizmos,” the immortal elf moaned, adding that he could not bear to see the horrified looks of the children’s faces when they unwrapped a copy of George Orwells’ Animal Farm instead of the Nintendo 3DS XL they have been patiently waiting for all year.
“Besides, it’s not like I ‘ho’ any real influence over the masses,” Claus continued, “I have a mere reach of 1,400,000 Singaporean children annually.”
Parents of 9-year-old Andrew Loy recalled when their boy once lost faith in Santa in 2013 when he received a boxed set of Roald Dahl’s collected stories, but as soon as Father Christmas came back the next evening with then latest iPhone 5, the big-hearted boy readily forgave him, despite its wrong colour.
Claus claimed in a post-interview with Durian Daily reporters that he felt “entirely helpless” to fight the overwhelming waves of corporatisation and consumerism, and abruptly ended the interview to retire to his master bedroom.
At press time, Claus was seen to be multi-tasking between an episode of Game of Thrones on a big-screen plasma TV and a game of Candy Crush on the Apple iPad as he lounged on a Baldacchino Supreme king-sized bed.
